i havent written in this in awhile. i guess it's time for an updateee.

so i read my last entry, && i ended up going to states. it was in the "middle of nowhere" pa pretty much. like you looked around && all you saw was farms, rivers, hills, the occassional house haha. it was so different from home. but i had a lot of fun at the conference. i hung out w/ hale, paige, zac, && steve most of the time...tehy're pretty awesome. dave saved hale && i when we fell asleep during this one play we were supposed to watch for theater so we could write a paper on it hahah. we usually set our alarms early but ended up sleeping in, && were still always on time. we saw a lot of shows && went to workshops. i wish i could have performed though. i heard we're doing a main stage next year though, && it'll prob be the jr/sr show! =]

so now getting to the present. this has been the best winter break ever. hah, last year we didnt even get one because of the strike. christmas was amazing because my best friend came over =] she's a jew, so she had her 1st christmas ever! haha. my 16th birthday was the 28th, so ryan, hale, && joce came over, because they're my favorite people in the whole worldddd<3  eileen couldn't go   we just sat around && talked, then surprisingly got off our asses && played fooseball haha. ryan && i dominatedd! then we ate pasta my favoriteee && watched the notebook which is also my favoriteee =] we almost couldn't cause joce half broke the ps2 but my brother fixed it haha. ryan was the 1st to get there && last to leave <3  what a great dayyyy. =] the next night was my friend kait's new years eve eve eve party which was funnnn. it's kinda hard because her friends are so different, but its still alot of fun! tonight is my sweet 16 with a bunch of people. a lot of the people couldn't go but it will still be fun! some awkward things possibly, but idk. hopefully it can be avoided =] hmm then new years im going out to dinner w/ hale && a family friend's family or something haha. then her parents are dropping us back off at her house && im sleeping over. i dont think her parents are gonna be home so we can be loud && party it uppppp! =] i really wanted to spend new years eve w/ both her && ryan, but it wasnt going to work out. so instead im hanging out w/ ryan on new years day. just so i can make sure i have the best day ever as the 1st day of the year! =] then its back to school...ew. sesame auditions are saturday...&& then on sunday it's 6 monthes w/ ryan! <3 i love him so much.

i dont really know what else to talk about so yeahhh. happy holidayss!!!

<33 kat

wow. my last 2 entries make me sound totally bipolar. hahaha. so yeah when i was really upset, i was like crying && stuff. then out of absolutely nowhere, lex called && said she was at some boring party down the road, && wanted to know if i could hangout. my mom actually said i could && i literally ran out of my house. ahhh she cheered me up soo much it was amazing =]  && yeahhh im in a way better mood right now then i was when i wrote my last entry.

the musical && yearbook are basically consuming my life. tomorrow is the first day this week that i actually get to just go home at normal time && relax. && we'll prob have the pep rally. at night i think i'm going to sleepy hollow w/ ryan<3 && his friend tim which should be funnnnn. ahhh friday the 13th! hahah. i might be going to the state thespian conference which im really excited about. ive never been, && lots of awesome people are going so i think it would be a great experience. minus the 7ish hour bus ride haha. && i'm still super excited about europe this summer!!! hale && i seriously are roomies for lifeeee haha wcc+states+europe  =]  so yeah now all i need is a job && fundraising ideas. but i think i'm working at sesame in entertainment this summer...if not, i'll find something haha. hmm thats about itttttttt.

<33 kat

i'm not even here 90% of the time. i work my ass off monday-friday to get good grades to satisfy THEM. THEY say there should be requirements for living in the house when i don't even want to live here with THEM. i cook my own meals half the time cause THEY'RE not around. even when they are home, i try to stay away from THEM, because i know if i don't, i'll flip out.  i do my best to put up with THEM even though i can't stand THEM. i get so fucking stressed out && i can't even leave the house because of THEM. i actually sometimes enjoy the company of my annoying little brother, because that's better compared to time with THEM. i listen to music to drown out the site of THEM fighting, always with someone, or eachother, otherwise i don't know what i'd do. i'm embarassed to be in public with THEM, because THEY always end up being totally obnoxious or doing something ridiculous. when i help THEM, there's always some complaint to how i did the job [like how i didn't do it right].  i have the shittiest home life because of THEM. i want to get a job soon, so i have to spend less time with THEM. if THEY don't want to drive me anywhere, then THEY shouldn't have fucking had kids. i can;t wait til i can drive, && always be somewhere else without THEM. i do something[extracurriculars] afterschool everyday just to make THEM happy. i waste so many days having such a horrible time, just to please THEM, and nobody even fucking cares.

is it when you have constant butterflies? is it when you feel sick but it's really just nervous excitement building up..&& possibly lack of oxygen from becoming breathless? is it when you love being with that person? is it when you fully trust that other person? is it when you enjoy that persons company, && the way they never fail to make you smile or laugh? is it the way you look at them && know you have everything you could ever possibly want? is it when they know how to be with you? is it when you always want to be around them? is it when you want to fall asleep in their arms with your head on their shoulder? is it when you want to stay frozen in their embrace? is it when you never want tehm to leave? is it when you can't imagine being with anyone else? is it when you miss them even though you were just with them? is it when you are finally really truly happy, esp when your with that person? && all the time, because you know at least you have them? is it when your life finally seems to be good? is it when you actually take the time to think everything through && post a whole entry about it?

am i in love?

wow. so im writing this exactly 1 month after my old entry. it's also exactly 3 monthes til my sweet 16! =]

i only write in here at the most random times. this week basically sucked so im glad tomorrow is friday. which is kait's sweet 16 partayyy =]]]]]]  then saturday is harvest day with a bunch of my favorite peoplee! && sunday idk what im doing. i have off monday thoughh =] thank goshh. i need sleep! next weekend is homecoming && im pretty sure im going to the game but idk if ryan && i are going to the dance cause idk whos goingggg haha.

so yeah basically drama is super gay but its pretty much over with so im glad. i hate staying after every day even though i love performing && making layouts can be pretty fun. i really miss the summer && camp. chorus kinda sucks now because nothing can compare to wcc, especially the passion for music that everyone had there. i miss it sooo much.

<3 kat

i've changed quite alot since my last entry. of course it was from a long time ago.

this summer has been amazing. i went to california, && its sooo pretty there. i also went to two camps at westminster choir college- vocal institute && musical theater workshop. i roomed there with one of my bestfriends, haley. i had a great time there. at first i was shy, at vocal institute, but everyone just had this passion for music, && i loved it. at musical theater i was alot more outgoing, because i knew basically everything that went on. i met alot of awesome people there && im so glad i got to go. the conductors && teachers && everyone were just amazing also. the only bad part was the night when the firealarm went off 7 times in seabrook, but we got to sleep in the playhouse [airconditioning!] which was a good difference to our non-airconditioned dorms.

hmm hale && i also had a coming home/going away again party which was fun. i talked to so many people who i hadnt seen/talked to in forever. i also went to wildwood, but i think i would have enjoyed it more if i didnt have to miss my best friend since kindergardens sweet 16. i got to drive a surrey though [this bike thing] even though you were supposed to be 16. i was actually ok at driving it but its not really similar to a car, so who knows how that will turn out. my sweet 16 = 4 monthes = permit  =]

oh yeah, ryan && i finally got together over the summer which im really happy about. <3

sophmore year starts wednesday but its just a half day so i guess its ok. they cant go on strike for as long as im at the school now, so im not worried about my senior year getting messed up =]

<33 kat

so i was looking back on my old entries. && i realized how much i've changed.

i don't even see all of my best friends anymore. or most of the people i was starting to become good friends with last year. i've made a lot of new friends but its just not the same...

also, now instead of going out all the time && having fun, i'm stuck doing all this homework because i'm in honors && the stuff is really hard. i really need to go out && have a good time.

i also became reallyyy shy this year. i'm always shy when i'm in a new environment. i feel like i'd be more like my old self if i wasn't as shy.

last summer was sooo amazing && i wish i could just go back in time to that summer, && have it repeat over && over again because it holds soooo many memories that i never want to forget.

so i met this guy...he's reallyyy nice, shy, cute, polite, not conceited && stuff but he's really shy && is super hesitant to make a move. && i'm scared to get hurt again...

so the new year hasn't been the greatest so far, but there's a lot of time for improvement. =]

i don't even know why i'm writing in this. no one even reads it. i think it's more for me, just a way to get what i'm feeling out of my head.

<3 kat

so highschool has officially started!

i love it.

its muchhhhh better than middle school.

minus the whole waking up at 5:20ish thing.

i've felt sick like every morning.

well today is my mom's b-day...happy birthday mom!! lol.

gotta go dry my hair...

<3kat

i'm on fire, && now i think i'm ready,

to bust a move, check it out i'm rockin' steady,

to the beat in my head, it goes oh, o0h, oh,

i know that she's the only one,

i'd rather waste that time together, yeah,

cause we can get down<333

wow i haven't written in this in forever. well my summer's going great!! i went to travel camp for 4 weeks....it passed soooo quickly though!! i miss everyone sooo much!! but camp was awesome;; we went everywhere - six flags, the beach, mini golfing, movies, zoo, broadway play, aquarium, etc....&& the trip to boston!! it was soo fun! minus getting hit on by some 25 y/o pedifile...ickkk. we were soo scared so we told ryan, pat, && adam to protect us hahah. in boston we went everywhere...duck tours, quincy market, salem witch museum, whale watching, hard rock cafe, etc. the people at camp were also reallllyy nice so that was cool.

yesterday i went to the orthodontist && now i only need to wear my retainer at night...so i won't have a lisp anymore haha. i have a contact appt. saturday so i'm insanely happy because i hate glasses...i haven't worn mine all summer lol. uhmm also yesterday my BFF eileen came over so we hung out && then went to the pool...dan met us there...tyler && melis didn't come && cami couldn't cause she lost these important papers or something at her dad's office. so me && eileen tanned && talked in the pool && then dan came, went off the diving board && cut his foot, then we just stuck to swimming lol. it was funny...like allllll these girls were checking out dan && giving me && eileen the evil eye ahahah. there was the HOTTEST guy in dan's neighborhood....ahhhhh!!! lol. today && tomorrow i'm not sure what i'm doing, but thursday is eileen's b-day party at hershey!! can't wait!! friday i might go to the JCC so i can see camp people again!! yyayyyyyy! then in a week it'll be off to cali!!! soo excited!

<33kat

i'll be your number one with a bullet...

wow, i haven't updated in forever. anyways, school ended 2 weeks ago.  no more middle school, thank goodness.

then went to disney with 2 of my best friends!! omg i had the bestttt time. too much to write but it was amazingg!! sooo many hot guys too. && eileen, those pics are hilarious. soo many memories;; i love you girls!

this week on monday i went over haley's && hung out with her && lisa...so fun. lisa's so lucky she got a good job..it's at some camp && she gets payed a lot of money, && she says the people are nice.

tuesday eileen came over && we just talked && she fixed my computer && then we went to the pool && saw some people so that was cool. i randomly saw ben, that guy from the late bus. i don't think he saw me though haha. && saw danielle && her friend && this guy who eileen kneww [ ANTONIO! lmao eileen ] so that was really cool.

wednesday liv came over && we hung out && did manicures...that was the mistake. haha liv's nails were "horribly good." i think she should work in a nail salon. really.   ...just kidding. haha i love you anyway liv!

but yesterday && today...i've been sitting on my lazy ass all day doing absolutely nothing. mainly because i didn't have a ride anywhere. partly because most of my friends are on vacation right now. && i don't know what the other part is.

i was gonna go to sacred tonight with a bunch of people to see steve's band but it's my parents anniversary. so yeahh. oh well.

i have no idea why i have this site. i doubt anyone reads it. if you are, comment! cause i don't think i've ever gotten one lol.

<3 kat